Crystal Happiness : Emotional Wellbeing

NLP’s four-point formula for success in a difficult situation

Know your outcome-

Most people would remain angry or sad for long periods of time without actually finding out exactly what they require, or what is the outcome they wish to see, in order to be in a peaceful frame of mind again. Once you are in an unwanted stressful situation it is important to know the final outcome- What is exactly you want? Do you want peace, happiness, mental stability?  

Take action-

Nothing is going to happen unless and until you choose to do something about it. Even if you know what you want, things won’t change if you don’t take steps towards your goal. The best thing to do is to encourage yourself to reach your destination. Make notes in your diary, keep your goals posted on the calendar and ask your friends to remind you to stick to your goals.

Develop sensory awareness-

You should be aware of your body and senses and if something is not working you should realize it soon enough. This means that once you have set your goals and are inching towards them, you can judge if the steps or behavior is not working and make changes to eventually meet your goal.

Maintain behavioral flexibility

There is a very famous NLP theorem suggesting that anyone can influence a situation if she has flexible thinking and is not rigid in her behavior. In other words, you have the power to change your life if you have a very flexible attitude. Therefore in line with the point made above, be aware that one of the steps is not working so that you can alter your feeling and steps to reach your final goal of being happy.


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Signs of Abusive Relationships: Understanding Emotional Abuse

In my experiences as a practising life-coach, I have found that many are confined to bad relationships because they place a big onus on conforming to accepted social practices. Many find it difficult to step-out of abusive relationships, whether emotional or physical, because of the consequences and social discomfort to immediate family and friends. Where the relationship is beyond repair; and abuse continues despite all your efforts at reconciliation; then it IS time, you get out of the abusive relationship.

Emotional Abuse different from Physical Abuse

Emotional abuse can happen without the physical evidence of a busted lip or a black eye, says famous Latin-American singer, Jennifer Lopez, in her 2014 memoir, “True Love.” The celebrated singer ended her seven-year marriage with famous singer March Anthony, in 2011. Though she does not name him or other ex-es directly, Lopez states that she felt abuse “in one way or another: mentally, emotionally and verbally.”

What is emotional abuse?

Social scientists label emotional abuse as just one of the forms in which an individual in a relationship can experience abuse. It is often regular in occurrence and includes various types of verbal bully, offense, threatening and endless criticism. Many times it may also include tactics, often clothed in subtlety, leading to the abuser manipulating, intimidating or derogating the partner.

The dark side of this type of abuse is that it is ‘insidious.’ Many times neither the abuser nor the victims are aware that they are in an abusive relationship.

Others suggest that most of such abuse cases occur in all types of intimate relationships between friends, relatives, spouses and parent with their child.

Why do partners indulge in emotional abuse?

Psychologists are not far from the truth when the state that the abuser in an emotional relationship is often, himself a victim of some sort of insecurity. The individual may have failed to learn the correct mechanism to overcome such abuse himself. Sometimes their personal failures in achieving their potential, builds within them the urge to demoralize, manipulate feelings of partner, so that they feel obligated to them and do not leave them. Their need for power and control stokes their behaviour leading to their hurtful behaviour towards the partner.

Impact of emotional abuse

The immediate impact of the abuse, typically rendered by words rather than physical action is loss of confidence and fall in self-esteem of the individual subjected to such abuse by a dominant partner.

What are the signs of abuse?

In understanding emotional abuse, one has to first identify the various signs of abuse. The abuser disregards opinions, suggestions or needs of the partner. Most times the victim is treated, as if he or she is a child, controlling all actions of the partner. The abuser would not hesitate or spare a thought before denouncing or chastising the victim in full public view. Empathy or compassion is never shown towards the victim. Negative remarks, demanding compliance with their suggestions are some of the major signs of such a relationship.

You owe it to yourself that you leave an Abusive Relationship!


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How not to get a heart-attack in office while working with angry co-workers

Having stress at job is inevitable and one cannot run away from work because of rude people. You got this job due to sheer hard work and your own merit; therefore you should not consider things like resigning or changing jobs abruptly just because something happened out of the blue.


  1. Think about something pleasant such as you taking a long walk in natural surroundings without any human company. Imagine you are walking barefoot on grass in warm sun shining behind a fluff of white clouds. Keep this thought in your mind for 10-15 minutes or till you feel better.
  2. Go to a time when you were a child and happy with your cousins, family and friends. Relive those memories when you would do nothing significant whole day yet be happy and satisfied.
  3. Keep a calendar in front of you and turn to a future page. Think if the episode that is bothering you today will still be so effective after one month.
  4. Make a list of all the achievements in your mind including catching first train on your own to getting your way around in a foreign country. Tell yourself you are a successful person and if you have overcome so many obstacles big and small, you can definitely overcome the present hurdle with some effort.

Finally, do some mantra meditation to immediately calm your frayed nerves. Send that email after you have some control over your emotions. It will help you respond and not react.

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Overcoming loss of a loved one

Most people are unhappy when they talk about the death of a loved one. Although on the surface they would say “I am fine,” but they have a heavy heart when they say this.

Follow these steps to get out of a depressed state if you are facing a situation wherein you are grieving over someone you loved dearly died:-




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