Quite often in my discussions with young people, I have dwelt on emotional issues and the impact of breakups, separations on their lives. In fact, in most of the cases I work with, the discussions veer to questions on “getting over someone.”
Quick Way to Get over Someone you cared for
While there is no ‘one-hour quick-fix,’ fail-proof solution that I can recommend, there is one thing I have found in my scientific experience of healing emotional issues. Healing is possible, only if you wish to. You need to be willing to try and overcome the agony of separation.
Texts and academic work in the field of psychology, social networking and human emotions suggest that most people who have ended a relationship go through as many as 4 stages of healing.
4 Steps in “getting over someone”
The very first stage of getting over someone is the state of shock and non-acceptance that the relationship has ended. In this initial stage you find it difficult to acknowledge that the person is no longer part of your life, just like the death of dear person.
In the second stage of getting over someone, the initial shock of being abandoned is overcome by anger. Now, that your mind has overcome grief, you now begin to think of how to make the ex-partner pay for the misdeed. Avenging the loss of relationship is uppermost in your mind.
Reliving the relationship
This stage is considered by mental health professionals to be the most dangerous phase for an individual while getting over someone. In this stage, the person recreates a fantasy world, where the relationship is relived. Quite often this stage also shows signs of depression and helplessness in the individual. Listening to music both enjoyed during the relationship, going to the same places as before in the hope that you run into the person again. The best way to help your during this stage is to meet up with new people and go beyond the stale, broken relationship.
Acceptance and Recovery
The final stage occurs when the individual accepts the breakup. As the individual reaches the stage of acceptance, recovery is optimized.
In many of these cases it is a challenge to identify the stage of emotional upheaval of the person, after a break up or mutual separation.
I strongly recommend that the best gift you can give yourself, during such times is to let go of the emotions. Un-bag those loads of memories caught up in your mind and heart.
Tell yourself, to change. Have an inner dialogue where you clearly state in your mind that you are no longer with that someone, anymore. It helps, when you reiterate to yourself, as it is a technique of “positive reinforcement.” In a short span of time, you will be able to overcome your past broken relationship.
The four stages of self-help will head you towards fresh, new phase and of personal growth in your life, “getting over someone!”