One of the most heart-wrenching issues that I find many around me struggling with is the “Everything Reminds Me of Him!” moments. When they speak to me, I feel their gnawing helplessness to overcome the pain of their breakup, their loneliness!
Sadly, the one person, who had been the anchor of their life, is no more a part of their lives, leaving them disturbed, disoriented.
Repeatedly, zillions of memories associated with that individual become unexpected emotional cascades pouring down at the most unsuspecting moment – when listening to a favourite song, watching a movie, remembering a shared joke, common friends – and much, much more. Innate, harmless memories which overwhelm the individual, leaving them drained, guilty and unprepared to face the world once again – afresh, individually!
Fortunately, the science of human relationships has a name for the emotional roller-coaster of being abandoned by a loved one. More fortunately, it even has a solution for the loss of a close relationship.
The Agony of Breakup
The psychological process of “breakingup” a relationship with a partner is identified by scientists as the point which accentuates the differences in the thought levels of individuals. Texts reveal that the ‘breakup’ is the point of no-return where two individuals realize that there is nothing that is common to their relationship any more.
The previous common sharing of thoughts or ideas are no longer there. This is largely because one of pair in the relationship has moved on. His experiences, thoughts and ideas have probably undergone changes, due to several factors, which are beyond the control of his partner. This begins to bring the relationship under pressure.
The ‘Unsharing’ zone between the partners expands quickly, leaving both in the relationship bruised, hurt and even vengeful.
Thus far, a linear solution to heartbreak, by psychology experts is to recommend “unachoring” the person. It is described as the reversing the entire process which happened when you built the relationship with your ex.
Theoretically it is a very straightforward and simple way to overcome those heart-wrenching “Everything Reminds Me of Him!” memories. The idea to dispel the good association of an object, a thought or idea with the estranged partner!
What is Unanchoring, you may find yourself asking?
In terms of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) studies, Anchoring is the process by which an individual associates two separate events into a single idea. The process also includes the recall of the second event, when the first event occurs. This is due to the imposition of the two events in the subconscious mind of the individual. The incidence of “anchoring” is high among individuals who are sensitive by nature.
This practice of association of separate events can brilliantly become the solution to your “Everything Reminds Me of Him!” baggage.
It is highly recommended that by “positive reinforcement” the subconscious anchoring process can be rewired to “unanchor” the partner from one’s thoughts. Unanchoring is a very easy technique to master. You have to repeat an event alone where the second event is absent. Hence, watch the movie, or listen to the song or dance to the same music repeatedly without thinking of your now estranged partner. Build fresh happy memories about those emotional-triggers and watch yourself walk free from the demonizing- “Everything Reminds Me of Him!” memories.